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Recently, Jeremy Ngakia scored twice for Watford against Oxford to take his career goals total to three from 116 professional matches,” asks a curious fan. “Not counting footballers who scored only once, is there anyone with over 100 matches achieved a higher percentage of their total goals in a one game?”

Another reader writes in with the tale of French defender Chalmé. “French right-back Chalmé appeared in 362 games during his career, mostly for Bordeaux and Lille,” he explains. “He scored four career goals, with three of them scored during a solitary match. He scored all three in Lille’s victory at AC Ajaccio in 2004, achieving the most unlikely of three-goal hauls.”

That memorable hat-trick in Corsica were the only ones Chalmé managed in 179 games for Lille, while in 167 for Bordeaux, he scored once. Actually, twice including his self-scored goal in the 2010 Coupe de la Ligue final against Olympique Marseille. Netting three-quarters of his total goals in one game takes Chalmé past Ngakia’s mark (two-thirds), but there is a fly in the ointment.

Chalmé hung up his boots at his club in July 2014 after a temporary move at the Corsican club, who likely remembered his brief purple patch a decade earlier. He did return to the game with amateur team Lège Cap-Ferret, featuring seven times in half a year – and scoring one goal. That would drop Chalmé’s percentage of goals in one match down to three-fifths, but it feels harsh to penalise him for a post-retirement jaunt at semi-professional level.

A brief note, too, for another French full-back: the legendary Thuram. Although the query concerns professional club play, many readers emailed in to highlight that Thuram made 142 international caps and scored two goals in the identical game – the World Cup semi-final against the Croatian team. Look, when you’re hot, you’re hot.

The Insubordination Files: Part II

Previously in this series we examined footballers who defied their managers’ instructions. There are some more fantastic examples, so we’re revisiting the Disobedience Records for a another review.

Spurs vs City, FA Cup semi-final, the 1950s
Tottenham’s skipper, Blanchflower, altered tactics to the side during the FA Cup semi-final against Manchester City while they were a goal down,” writes a correspondent. “Moving Norman from defense to attack, Spurs still lost and the coach, Anderson [not that one], benched the captain for the following game and stripped him of the captaincy. Within a year Anderson was out, Bill Nicholson took over, the captain returned and the outcome is legendary.”

England vs Albania, World Cup qualifying, April 1989
Adam Clark points out: “Gazza netted his maiden international goal in this 5-0 win at Wembley after roaming everywhere’, as per manager Bobby Robson. The post-game comments are priceless – a great blend of annoyance, sarcasm and paternal pride.”

Everton vs Spurs, Cup semi, 1994-95
The Toffees’ most recent silverware was the 1995 Cup, and it wouldn’t have been possible without a key figure,” writes a contributor. “Coach Royle? Nah. Goalscorer in the final, Paul Rideout? Close, but no. Keeper Southall? Nope. That man was mercurial striker Amokachi, who came on uninvited during the match with Tottenham, netting two to earn the Toffees a spot in the final against United.”

Telling the tale to the BBC, Amokachi said: “Rideout was injured and went down ... I just approached the assistant and told him ‘The gaffer says you need me on’.” Royle was understandably furious at the moment, but more forgiving at the end: “He entered the dressing room and hugged me, shook my hand and said: ‘Well done, son, but never try that again.’”

Sporting vs Barça, Champions League group stage, 2008
During his time with Pep Guardiola’s Barcelona against Sporting Lisbon, Thierry Henry took it upon himself to switch wings. He soon netted to give Barcelona the lead at half-time. The coach’s response? He substituted Henry for disobeying orders.”

Set-Piece Specialists

“Being a Hammers supporter, I’m often looking back at previous years for some enjoyment,” laments Liam Corbett. “Upon reviewing, I noticed that Dimitri Payet scored six free kicks in the 18 cherished months that we enjoyed him. Just wondering if there is a more prolific free-kick taker in a similar time period?”

One comes to mind: Beckham netted 27 direct kicks in his time at Manchester United, including eight in as many months between 2000. His best period at Old Trafford includes the same period: from May 1999 to November 2000, Beckham netted ten set-pieces – including two raspers against the West Ham. Sorry, Liam.

If it helps, there’s a player now at West Ham who can outdo Payet’s record: Ward-Prowse. The dead-ball specialist enjoyed two purple patches with Southampton, netting seven set-pieces between November 2019 and February 2021 across two pandemic-interrupted campaigns. Ward-Prowse then added six more superb free-kicks in a ten-month period between 2022-2023.

Historical Trivia

“A friend who follows Southend claims the team once featured in a league match at the national stadium? Is he joking?” queried Stuart Jacks in April 2012.

Surprisingly, he wasn’t. The team were among two clubs – Brentford being the second – to face Orient in the third tier at Wembley back in the 1930s, owing to ground improvement work at Orient’s Lea Bridge Stadium. Their official website explain further:

After a game against Torquay (a victory for Orient), Torquay representatives objected to the boundary fence being too near to the pitch. The Football League was requested to check the stadium and agreed that changes were needed before any more games could take place; abruptly the club found themselves without a stadium. Incredible as it seems, Wembley was proposed and the Orient actually hosted two matches in 1930 against Brentford and Southend, securing two victories. Even now the club is the only Football League side to have hosted matches at the iconic venue!

Since then of course, Tottenham followed Orient in playing temporarily at Wembley, albeit in the top flight. Lately, talk of Arsenal upgrading the Emirates – and moving to the national stadium while the work is carried out – has emerged.

Your Input Needed

“Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang scored four goals and was red-carded in Gabon’s 4-3 win over Gambia recently,” notes Seb in Berlin. “Which other players have been dismissed after scoring at least three goals?”

“In Austria’s 10-0 demolition of the minnows, all starting attackers and midfielders who began the game scored or assisted,” asks Paul Savage. “Has any other team achieved this feat?”

“Among all footballers who have a monument outside the ground of their ex-team, who made the least amount of appearances for that club?” wonders a fan.

“Remarkably, Tomasson is the initial coach to be sacked by {Sw