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We've been close companions with a woman, a person who's overcome numerous hardships, which I admire. But, she's repeatedly blindsided in relationships. Her partner left her, which came as an unexpected event. A lot of her friends disappeared during that time, because they seemed only interested in her husband. She was stunned by her deeply. She put in increased attention to be my friend, and must have realised more acutely the essence of true friendship.

The Pattern of Disappearance

Throughout this period, many of her friends vanished leaving her sure why. The company she worked for became hostile, even though she had been highly competent, her exit happened not understanding the reason for the change.

How Things Stand Now

In recent times, both of us retired leading to more each other more, however, I feel the part I play in the relationship feels one-sided. I start subjects and she changes them to what interests her. Regarding political views, she holds firm beliefs. I attempt to suggest factchecking or other angles.

She has been organizing a trip to a nation I've visited many times even called home for a while. My intention was to offer advice, but this was not welcomed. She purely just desired validation of her plans. I've just ended a month in that country and she wants to meet, but I don't.

Considering the Choices

I am unwilling in this role that walks away without explanation, but I don't think she can comprehend the impact of how she acts on my self-esteem. Right now, I am in distancing myself. What should I do?

Ways Forward

You could walk away, but it is not often the easy answer we imagine. But confrontation with the goal of working things out demands strength and willingness for each of you.

Experts suggest trying a useful conflict resolution tool:

"Step one involves describing how things go in your conversations. Aim for this to be objective and clear like what a recording device would replay. Next is to express how this makes you feel. Ideally, there's no argument about this. Emotions are valid, after all. The third step is to question how the two of you will alter the interaction between you."

Consider your friend holds perspectives, so you need to be prepared to acknowledge it. One effective method is telling to the other person:

"Now you talk while I will not say anything for a set time."

This can be successful for promoting mutual respect.

Closing Considerations

Your friend might reject your concerns, since certain individuals have a “survival narrative”: they rely on a story about themselves they're unable to let go of because their very survival relies on it and it's all they've known. This is difficult because there's no clear path in such cases, mere obstacles. Yet she could initially present this way then consider your perspective. And should you don't achieve a fix, you'll have closure from having been truthful.